prepared for the worst

I posted this on Key23 the other day, but for some reason, the site has fallen off the far edge of the hinternet, so I'm's repostin it here (and there may be a bit o' that for a bit)

Pre-Apocalypse Preparedness Manual
or The World’s Ending and All I’ve got left is this Stupid Towel

(All right’s reversed, please copy and redistribute)

Throughout history many cultures have claimed that the world is going to end, but look at the headlines today: The world is already ending! Hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, terrorist attacks, wars in the Holy Land, rioting in the streets, devastation of the environment and the end of unrenewable resources, power outages, etc… You may not be in the middle of these disasters, you may not even believe they’re really happening, but here we are, the 21st century and the beginning of the end of the world.

Our purpose in writing this manual is not to be scaremongers, the last thing we want you to do in the face of imminent social environmental economic collapse is hide cowering in your basement or pretend that nothing is actually going on. As shit gets worse, and it very likely will, and our own illusions of security and stability are stripped away, the best thing we can do is be ready for the worst. Possibly nothing will happen, but even more likely it will be like nothing we could ever expect. So on that note, we give you the PAPM.

Before you do anything else, remember the catchwords of the infamous Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: Don’t Panic! If you want to keep your head above the water (quite literally) then don’t forget it. The end of the world will be quite frightening and there are a few simple things you can do to keep from freezing up or going insane.

Breathe. Regular deep breathes supply oxygen to the brain and prevent shock and panic and allow for clear thinking, especially if you feel the tightness of the Horror welling up in your chest.
Be informed, but not too informed. It’s good to know what’s going on, you don’t want to get caught unawares in a surprise military lockdown, but you also don’t want to be overwhelmed by the enormity of the disasters. Read useful newsclips pertaining to your local area/ escape routes, but stop gawking over those pictures of dead bodies and burning buildings.

Face your fears. This is hard, really hard. Fear is the mind killer, but fear does not in itself exist. Not to say that these disasters and things you are afraid of don’t exist, they certainly do, but the more they happen or the closer you get to them, the easier it becomes to see there are just concrete actions that can be taken in each moment to get through the situation instead of panicking. Focus on these and not the bigger picture and you will survive.

Be prepared. That old boy scout motto never was so apt as when you might have to flee a hurricane or gang of rioters at a moment’s notice. Start planning now so you have the skills and tools you’ll need to survive no matter what happens. And remember, be ready to go, don’t worry so much about school, your career, car payments, etc… these won’t mean too much when you’re on the road or in the woods.

Basic first-aid/ wilderness and urban survival skills. You should know how to dress wounds, give CPR, etc… in case you or anyone you encounter gets hurt and there is no other medical attention available. Also know the basics of what plants are edible or medicinal in your locality, how to build a fire and shelter, how to skin an animal for food (even if you’re a vegetarian or can’t hunt, there’s always road kill when you’re starving), the best routes to leave the city, and stores that could be “looted” for supplies along the way.

Yoga/ martial arts. Yoga is important for relaxation and staying healthy. It keeps your body limber and mind clear. Martial arts should speak for themselves. It’s necessary to be able to defend yourself from panicking civilians no matter if you’re armed or not. You could (and should) carry a knife, but keep in mind that when a knife is drawn in combat both parties are likely going to get cut. And then you’ll have more wounds to deal with.

Escape plan/ network. Know how you’re going to get out of the disaster area. Determine somewhere safe to go, or several possible locations around the country or world. Talk to your friends and neighbors to work out details of how to help each other escape. Stay in contact and rehearse evacuation drills. That way you know someone’s got your back and will make sure you don’t get lost or killed.

Escape kit. If you have to flee suddenly, make sure you have all you might need already ready and in an accessible place. Think about essentials, pack light, and make sure in advance you can carry your pack comfortably and securely. Make sure to wrap any items you don’t want to get wet in plastic and put in the middle of your sleep sack. Also, forget all those useless valuables, either liquidate them now or move them to your safe zone in advance, including pets. If you have important information/ work documents, move it, memorize it, and back it up on hard copy and multiple web servers (though there’s no guarantee the net won’t fail either). Some things to consider packing:

good frame pack, sleeping bag and ground mat, matches/ flint and tender, non-perishable food, knife (tool and protection), leatherman, maglite, towel, rainproof/ warm sturdy clothing, good walking boots, small spiritual or inspirational text, maps (local and national) with marked routes, compass, notebook with pens, cell phone (if still in service), contact information, ID passport and other important documents, edible plant guide, first aid kit, seeds, money (no guarantee will still be worth anything, but have cash just in case).

other things to consider: gas mask, ear plugs, side arms, flares, small tent, deck of cards, inflatable raft, etc…

Survive! This is your objective. Not looting plasma tvs, not shooting cops and rescue vehicles, not being a hero (though these circumstances may arise), but staying alive. As cold as it sounds, selfie comes first, though survival is much more likely if you have other people to rely on. Make sure you’re prepared, not just to leave town but to start a completely new life somewhere else. Make sure you have or can get food and shelter, even if the grid or economic supply chains collapse. Get off the system as much as possible now so you’re used to having to live in desperate situations. Ride a bike, exercise, talk to your neighbors for information, establish communities that can take care of themselves. Learn to farm, sew, etc… If you end up in a small rural community after the collapse, make sure the members can supply their own food, healthcare, entertainment, skill shares, etc… DIY and sustainability are key. Don’t be afraid to be alone however, or to make new and unexpected friends.

We’re all in this together. Don’t forget it. When people get afraid they close off and take care of just themselves, at the expense of everyone around them. Look at Nola, looters shooting each other and downing rescue helicopters. But the reality is we’re all dealing with that same problem of survival. If disaster occurs on a global level this is crucially important for us to recognize. The Earth is a small planet in the middle of space, and we don’t have off world colonies. If things really turn to shit we have nowhere else to go, and so human survival depends on us not killing each other off for basic needs or to take control of whatever’s left, since we’ve already given up on taking care of our environment. When encountering other victims, especially if they appear to be dangerous (madmen and the military) but not immediately hostile, don’t pick fights but remind them of being in the same sinking ship. Ask how you can help them and if they can help you. In the event of a national crises, please ignore all ineffective collective and governmental institutions, they’re just individual people trying to survive too.

Perhaps most immediately important: Have fun. If you’re already prepared and not in any immediate danger, then keep living your life as passionately as possible. Don’t ignore the potential situation but don’t let it consume you either. Go to shows, get drunk, make art and love, continue doing those things that are necessary and important for you to feel you’re leading a solid and satisfying existence. If these are truly the last days, work and school are completely unimportant, but do what you have to do to get by. Use this as an opportunity to get out there and talk to people, find out what’s going on and make new connections in your community. Travel to find new safe spots and to get used to being on the road. If there’s anything you’ve ever wanted to do but were putting off till later, do it! Now is the time to live your wildest dreams.

Proactive measures, are also immediately important towards building a better future after the collapse (and potentially staving it off!). Inform yourself and others about what’s going on and how you can take control of your own lives. Campaign for alternate fuel sources, establish networks of compassionate and dedicated individuals working towards sustainable models of living. Be aware of how your actions (especially what you consume) might be adding to the world’s burdens and not be afraid to suggest to others how they are behaving. Copy and distribute this zine so others can be prepared.

And remember, keep loving, keep laughing, keep fighting. I don’t know about you, but I like being alive.